December 3, 2012

Control vs. Choice

Recently, I have been cogitating (favorite word) on the first first step in the 12 Step Program.

We admitted we were powerless over (put in your own thing) – that our lives had become unmanageable.

This brings up the whole issue of control. Do we have control in life? Is control a facade? What is it for our lives to be unmanageable. Right now all you control freaks are thinking, yes I do have control and my life certainly is not unmanageable.

Well, let me put in a few thoughts. If you have lived long enough you should know you have no control. Life happens. People get sick and die. Economies go south and you get laid off. People have mental illness. Accidents happen. People have feelings other than the ones you think are appropriate. Family members make choices that you strongly disagree with and they still do it anyway.

Now, you do have choices. And no matter what life throws at you, you have choices as to how to respond. But no, you really don’t have control.

So are our lives unmanageable? For addicts, yes. You can’t stop doing something that is destroying you and your relationships. As for the rest of us, here is something to think about. Our lives are unmanageable in terms of we can’t control what life throws at usd and we are not perfect in our responses. So we do need help.

What do you think? And where does your help come from?